Commit Chronicles—Your Obsession Leaves a Trail. Mine Gives It a Plot.

This is a submission for Weekend Challenge: Passion Edition TL;DR SQL can count a commit trail. It can't always find the story it tells. Name a public GitHub repo. Snowflake fetches its commit history, decides which story is actually in there, and asks Cortex to narrate that one thread. You get a card you can drop into a README. 6 storyline detectors, 15 SQL views, and 0 AI calls in any of them—the story is chosen by plain SQL. Then 1 Cortex call, on 20–140 commit lines: 25% of the repo's, clamped. The warehouse is the editor. Cloud Run paints a PNG and computes nothing. Live at commitchronicles.anchildress1.dev , code at v1.0.0 , and I'm going for Best Use of Snowflake . What I Built Commit Chronicles reads one public GitHub repo and gives it back to you as a story. Snowflake fetches the repository, decides which story exists, gathers the evidence, asks Cortex to narrate exactly that thread, validates the result, and returns structured JSON. Cloud Run just turns it into a 1200×630 PNG—the size a README embed and a social preview both want. This is one of my repos and every dot, timestamp, and quoted commit on it is real. The color isn't just decoration—Cortex picks the accent hex as a reading of the arc, so a repo that died and one that came back and shipped don't look the same. The scope is deliberately one repository , not a whole profile. A year-in-review across a profile turns to mush. A repo has a clean arc: commits start, cluster, pause, restart, or stop. Two rules hold it together: Cortex interprets the shape. It never invents the facts. Every timestamp, count, gap, and quoted message on the card is real. It reads the arc; it does not reach past it. Motivation isn't in the data, so the model is forbidden from claiming any. A repo with no real story says so. Sparse histories get an honest grey card— "no story here" —and Cortex never runs. Not every repo is an obsession, and a tool that admits that is the one you trust when it says otherwise. Why I built it 🪤